As a result of Mexico's Gold Cup win, 10 new states introduce strict immigration bills
By ONANTZIN News
2011-06-27
Pasadena, CA -- Following the wild celebrations that ensued after Mexico defeated the US in Saturday's Gold Cup final, several states mobilized to make sure that this weekend's uncontrolled display of joy by immigrants doesn't spread beyond the borders of California.
In Iowa, Kansas, and eight other states today, legislators introduced their own strict anti-immigration bills to restrict and prevent immigrants from engaging in exuberant and uncontrolled celebrations.
"It's disgraceful, what went on in Pasadena and throughout California", said Iowa Governor Terry Branstad. "Those people were filled with reckless joy, drinking and dancing on the streets, some even getting arrested and so forth, as if they had a right to do so! That type of unbridled joy is strictly reserved for Americans!"
Crazed celebrations have taken place outside Pasadena's Rose Bowl in the past, and dozens of people have also been arrested, but never has the majority of them been Hispanic. Whether or not the fans that took to the streets on Saturday were mostly immigrants is not known, but Governor Terry Branstad said his state was not taking any chances.
"Did you see them jumping on that pick-up truck? My goodness...", said Governor Branstad after seeing a video of ecstatic Hispanics swarming a truck on the streets and jumping onto it for no apparent reason.
The bills introduced today across several states are very similar in nature, with the underlying goal to prevent future incidents like the one in California.
Named SP15, the bill in Iowa makes it legal for any police officer to question the citizenship status of any group of brown people caught smiling or showing the smallest semblance of being happy; In Kansas, the bill makes it a crime for illegals to drink alcohol at a stadium's parking lot before a game; And in Mississippi, not to be outdone by any of the other states, the bill makes it legal for anyone to shoot a suspected immigrant caught drunk on the streets - even if it's an immigrant who does the shooting, it's legal.
Haley Barbour, Governor of Mississippi, said that several states have lost control of their immigrant population, and he warned that others are next if they don't act. "It might be too late in states like California - immigrants have too many rights and privileges there - but I'll be dammed if my state ever sees the day when immigrants get to celebrate like that, especially at the expense of Americans"
In response to these outright racist bills, opponents... oh wait, the opponents of these discriminatory bills against immigrants don't usually show up until it's too late and the bills are about to pass. We'll have to wait a few weeks or months for the response from those who will eventually oppose these bills.
